deep in the heart

A MEREDITH HEIL, MERCURY MEULMAN COLLABORATION

SIDE A: "The Stars Are Big And Bright"
1) Range Life: Pavement
2) Blues in Dallas: Mountain Goats
3) So Much Beauty in Dirt: Modest Mouse
4) Houston: Hope & Anchor
5) Marry Me: Tender Forever


Meredith Says:
    When I was seven-almost-eight we moved to Texas. We came from Missouri and Texas seemed so far away. That summer the newspaper kept showing pictures of a big, flat building with all these police guys surrounding it. Their shiny black guns were all drawn and pointed. They looked so serious.
    The paper said the pictures were from a place called Waco, Texas. They said a cult had locked themselves inside their giant grey cult-house and refused to come out. They said there were all these moms and babies trapped in there. The government wanted inside the building so they could take all the cult's guns and let the little kids out to get food and clothes and stuff. But, I couldn't figure out why the cops looked like they wanted to shoot the cult people when the paper said they just wanted to help them.
    This was all I knew about Texas.
    When we got to Houston that August, I learned how big Texas actually was. My brother showed me a map he bought at a gas station. The state was so big that Waco looked even farther away from our new house than Missouri.
    After dinner watched the news on our new big screen TV. The footage of Waco was so much louder and more chaotic than the pictures in the paper. Those people still hadn't come out. CNN called it a "seige." They called their house a "compound." Even though I knew I was safe I kept thinking about that cult and all those guns.

SIDE B: "The Prairie Sky is Wide & High"
1) I'm New Here - Smog
2) Remember the Alamo - Donovan 
3) Waltz Across Texas - Willie Nelson
4) Poncho & Lefty - Townes van Zandt
5) My Texas Girl - The Carter Family
6) Streets of Laredo - Johnny Cash
7) Abilene - Lightnin' Hopkins

Mercury Says:

I've returned to Texas after a long time elsewhere, and I sometimes find myself looking at it like someone who's not from around here. What I love about Texas now is what visitors would love. That is, I love the quaint idiosyncrasies, the "other-ness," that which is to be found in far-off corners but becomes popular and consumable through blogs and The New York Times. I'm the one who's changed, and I can't fault Texas for being (or staying) what it is. Texas is a study in extremes. It's about the audacity of the hugeness and the beauty of the smallness; it's about high and low culture and a confusion of the two. The mundane here becomes institutionalized elsewhere as "outsider," grandiose, or just plain bizarre, but that's taking it out of context. Yes, the personalities and pride here can be as big as the borders, and growing up, I went to church potlucks on Wednesday nights and ate canned green beans. But it's not as strange as you would think. It's just what you know (and what you learn to question with time). When you get past all that embroidery spun around Texas, it's just another place to live. I hardly feel like I can get my mind (or arms) around Texas at times, but I'm pretty sure I like it. That's about all I know about Texas, and when you're here, it's all you need to know.





 

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